A personality in t(w)o

This post contains random stuff. You might even find that one sentence doesn't relate to another in a paragraph. Please don't mind. I want to be myself through out this post. I've come to Mumbai from Indore and my life has changed in certain ways. You know, I am not an intellectual, arty-farty person. But some times I totally feel that that I am not doing anything that comes under "things to do before you die stuff". Just read one of my cousins profile on a social networking website. Felt totally weird. Damn, I want to do so many things, want to be so many things. I want to do something that is totally anti-pop-culture. I am lazy. Sleeping.
Why am I so fascinated by such things? When I see a photograph of a person standing in Madrid beside a guitarist, or some guy standing in a village with a cow posing with a brightly clothed villager, or some guy climbing a mountain or any such random photograph, I totally want to be in that photo! I want to be that! It just seems that my life is distant from all this. As though this is all from another world. I know that I am not really into creative stuff and I cannot be like those alternatively clothed designers walking with a photography magazines in their hands. But I like seeing such people. All this fascinates me. But I would also mention that I cannot appreciate the subtly intended elitism hidden behind the display of intellect/knowledge/art by few people. I am a pharma person, working in a lab in the pharmacology department, experimenting on poor animals. I love my subject no doubt, but I want more to life.
Next thing, why am I attached to my roots so much? Whenever I think of happiness, I imagine myself in my grandmothers arms feeling her heavy bosom, hiding my face as well as my sorrows on her shoulder. I always look forward to playing some stupid game with my cousins in my drawing room. I imagine sitting on chair in the front lawn at my home just sipping tea and feeling the presence of my grand dad beside me. Celebration to me doesn't mean partying. Clubbing doesn't excite me much. I might enjoy it for a while. But I know I'd enjoy having a cup of coffee with a dear friend sitting on comfortable sofa more.
I cannot write stuff full of complex quotations and complex strings of words. I know I have written such an informal and such a crappy post unrelated to our blog. I want to be two things at a time. I am waiting to express my self! Even though I don't have the right words and I don't have that expertise on language. Why did I even type this post.